June 22, 2008 Gaozhou Welfare visit

We met at 8am for an authentic Chinese breakfast. Fruit is not a staple for breakfast, theirs is more like lunch. Meat, vegetables and bread. We tasted delicious dumplings, steamed bread, cake and sweet, rice congee, chicken feet, organs and breads. I was the official taster on everything, then if it tasted good to me the rest of the crew followed suit. Jim had the hardest time, followed by Margaret and Ali. Marguerite and Kimmie and I were the most adventurists.
Maoming has changed unbelievably in the last 10 years. The city is “only” 7 million people. Too small in Chinese terms for an airport, so the only way to get there is by train or car. The main industry is petroleum. The buildings are new, lots of palm trees, wide boulevards, looking more like Miami. Margaret and I were amazed. It isn’t the same city.

During our car ride, Ali sat next to me, her back turned, me rubbing her shoulders, and very quiet. She was taking in the ride. The road side was filled with workers harvesting Leiche a hard shelled melon the size of golf ball, peeled, and only grown in this region. Locals were selling it on the road side one after the other. We saw a truck bed full of chickens- not whole chickens, chicken parts that you would see in the grocery store. It must have been 95 degrees outside, and the chicken completely exposed. UGH…. The FDA would have a hay day with that.
A 40 minute car ride to Gaozhou where the orphanage is located is more economically depressed area, with streets piled with garbage. Actually this looks more like Maoming did 10 years ago. Margaret asked Ali if she was nervous about the visit, she replied “ gee I am hungry”.

We asked to be taken to the original orphanage first where Ali was. It closed in 2001. It is now a condemned building. The director and 2 assistant directors met us there. We took pictures and then followed them back to the new orphanage. The orphanage has 2 parts of it. One side is technical school for computer science and the other is the orphanage. It is very simple in design, somewhat barren but clean open and airy. The director took us into his air conditioned office where we were offered hot tea and Leiche that were freshly picked, with pictures of Chinese children with their foreign parents on the wall. We talked for a long time, lots of questions being patiently answered. I showed the pictures of Ali’s nannies when we got Ali in 1998. To our happy surprise, one of the nannies still worked at the orphanage. (The current director has only been with this orphanage for about 1 year). She was brought in with 2, 3 year olds, the oldest in the orphanage. She remembers Ali’s nanny but didn’t really remember Ali specifically. She smiled to know that Ali is well and healthy. I made arrangements prior to coming, to donate a box of toys and clothes. The packages arrived ahead of time and I requested they wait until we got there to open the boxes. As we opened them we pulled out the toys for the girls to play with. They were very timid… Kimmie and Ali got on the floor to show them how to use them. Needless to say they were overwhelmed. We were in the office for about an hour, cameras and video flashing everywhere. It brought us joy to watch them. Very tempting to take one of them home.

When the official tour began, they requested no cameras. The first stop was the special needs room of about 10 children, mostly with cleft palates and under the age of about 15 months. One child looked so frail and white. Didn’t look like she was going to live very long. Another child was paralyzed in one leg. Margaret being a nurse surmised the birth mother might have had a difficult delivery, as it could be the reason she was paralyzed. The rest of the children looked very healthy, alert, well feed and good color. The Banks family has never see a cleft pallet, so it we were interested and we had lots of questions for Margaret and Marguerite about how this is repaired. The director told us that these children will be easily adopted. The next room was the healthy children. Some babies looked as young as a few weeks. The room had no a/c, but they were covered with blankets and towels- A Chinese way to make sure the children don’t get colds- but they must have been roasting. The diapers looked like pillow cases, freshly washed diapers were being dried outside the hallway. Each baby had a clean diaper.

A set of twin girls, were to be adopted very soon, one baby was getting her family the next day. The only boy in the room got Marguerites’ attention and she began to hold him. At first he wasn’t responsive but after only a few minutes the bonding began. I watched out of the corner of my eye and saw the temptation of Marguerite to want to shower this baby with kisses. I became attached to a baby girl who must have been about 6 months. I gently touched her tummy and she spilled out with laughter. This went on for about 15 minutes. Each time I wiggled her tummy she burst out in giggles. It was really hard to leave her, but I know she will be adopted soon. (My gut feeling and prayer).
The babies are in cribs with no mobiles or toys. Each crib has a hard surface and most of the babies have the bald spot on the back of their head. The rooms were light, sunny and airy. We all commented that the directors show a lot of emotion to the babies, and the nannies were loving and kind. They told us the babies eat rice congee, vegetables and bone marrow was added for added nutrition.

The orphanage holds 150 babies. Right now there are 33s. Traditional believes are giving way to contemporary thinking. The Chinese tradition of boys taking care of the parents is not the modern belief. The daughter’s parents now become a blended part of the boy’s family and girls are more accepted in the more modern cities. So there is a bigger decline in the abandoned babies.

We returned to the office where we were shown the original paper worked and documents. We saw Megan’s and Amy’s (adopted at the same time as Ali) paperwork and took a picture of the page to show them when we get home. Up until then, I thought Ali was abandoned at the police station. This is partially correct. The paper work the director had, showed she was found at Fujian Road and then brought to the police station. He told us he would take us there.

The director offered us gifts of necklaces, a seed grown only in the area- it is to ward off evil spirits. Ali’s Chinese name was already engraved – Gao Xian. Gao is the surname from the region, Xian means strong constitution- very fitting for Ali. The seeds were taken to engrave each of our names and represented to us at lunch. We brought Jelly Bellies, hats from UT and wooden airplanes which Breed and Company donated for us to bring. We thought there might be older children to we offered the jelly Bellies to the nannies.

There is a basketball court and Jim wants to show them Ali’s athletic skills. She shoots a lot of baskets and even though it is the official height (taller than she is used to playing) she nails a lot of baskets. The directors applaud.

On the way to lunch, we were taken to Ali’s finding place, on Fujian Road. The police station was only 1 block away. Perhaps if the police station was open, we might have found more information about her finding, but unfortunately it is a Sunday and closed. . At this point Ali is not very happy. It is extremely hot and humid and she just wants to get in the car and go. So a few minutes later we do after taking pictures.

Lunch was a feast. Good meats, fish, delicious shrimp, pork that no one touched. We even had cokes. We were the first family to visit the orphanage in 2008. (There are only about 2-3 visits from families per year- not a common occurrence). They asked us to each write something in their journal about our visit to the orphanage. Even Kimmie and Ali wrote in the book.

Saying many goodbyes, we headed to the Maoming Mansion, the dumpy hotel Margaret and I stayed 10 years ago. It is even more of a dump and still open but extremely special since that is where we were given Ali.

A local mall had a Wal-Mart. We couldn’t believe it. We shopped the mall; Kimmie got a few shirts, the rest of the crew found some gems at Wal-Mart.

Back to hotel and rested. McDonalds even to me sounded yummy, so that is where we had dinner. Kimmie’s flip flops she brought were falling apart and found beautiful flip flops for a whopping $2.

A McDonald’s hamburger in China is the same, but we ordered a milk shake and got hot chocolate, no milk shakes.

Everywhere we went in Maoming we were starred at. For 2 reasons- one, very few foreigners ever have a reason to go to Maoming. Secondly, westerners with Chinese children… very curious to the locals. At McDonalds- people would stop and look through the window to stare at us, some parents would bring their children by us to show them us. “Look…. White people!” Now we know how minorities feel. A young woman came up to me and said “welcome to our city” and wanted to know where I was from. And she said she was so happy to meet me. Maybe she never met a westerner. Thank goodness for our guide because NO ONE speaks English.

We decided to go the grocery store to get food and water for the return train ride. At 9pm it was packed. At one point Margaret got separated from our group. A Chinese woman tapped her on shoulder and pointed to me because she knew Margaret was lost and knew who she was with.

Kimmie and Ali have been remarkable travelers. No complaints, eating the food (Ali is finding some things she likes), sleeping, just very easy going. We are so blessed.
As the day wore on, Ali’s disposition changed dramatically. She became animated, interested in conversation, sharing her life with her aunts, telling them all about Anna, Isaac her best friends, camp this summer with them and on and on. The pressure was off….

Looking forward to sleeping on the hard surface tonight.