June 25, 2008 Trip to Bengbu Welfare Center

The evening of the 24th, a choice of a meal was a peasant restaurant or western meal. Western food sounded good. The menu items sounded good, pizza the best, but Chinese pizza has no cheese. As the waitress took the order, items on the menu were unavailable. She explained to our guide, that Western food is very expensive and the restaurant doesn’t supply most items… something we aren’t used to. Repeatedly, items we wanted weren’t available. W e tipped the waitress for her time and opted for McDonalds. The walk thru the streets was a cultural experience. Vendors bringing out racks after racks of clothes and merchandise for sale, crowded, bustling. Stares, crowds gathering around us when we stopped to look. Westerns are even less common than in Hefei.

At Mc Donald’s, Kimmie observed how many young girls look like her. She is used to NO ONE looking like her, but here, so many have the similar features, tall, round faces, similar shaped eyes, skin color. One girl sitting next to us, looked like Raelyn, another like Kiana (both from the same orphanage as Kimmie and adopted at the same time). The weather being cooler, also explained to Kimmie why she has never been comfortable in hot weather. The climate here is similar to California with some humidity. Even with the humidity, it is very pleasant.
We nearly had an international incident. As we walked to the elevators to our hotel rooms, Marguerite was concerned because we had had no fresh fruit or vegetables for dinner. She spotted a table with a Buddha on it with fresh food. She started to walk toward it suggesting we grab a few pieces to take to our room. I stopped her, explaining those are holy offerings, and she stopped cold. We roared in laughter. What a disaster if we didn’t stop her.

Ali was really happy to talk to her friends Anna and Isacc over the internet, not once but twice. She also loves watching women’s volleyball on Chinese tv. Language barrier aside, sports is universal. He is her father’s daughter.

The next morning we woke to the sound of birds, and people doing their morning Tai Chi. There is a beautiful park next door with bridges, creeks, pavilions, walking paths, and tennis courts. As early as 5:30 AM, people were outside exercising. Healthy activity aside, there is a big difference in air quality here too than the other cites we have visited. It is hazy, but not from humidity clouds but from pollution.

Trip to Orphanage blogged by Marguerite and Karen

We left around 9:30 for Kim’s orphanage which was a short 15 minutes away. Unlike Ali’s complex which was Spartan and by itself, we drove into a huge complex with a security guard. Evidently, the orphanage is part of a multitude of government service buildings including old age home, hospital and city government administrative offices.

It was extremely modern in design with well constructed sidewalks, trees and landscaping. To access the orphanage on the upper floors, we needed to pass the old age facilities. Even here, individuals waved, despite the appearance of strange looking foreigners.

We arrived and were escorted to the meeting or reception room. The male director appeared and introduced himself, accompanied by three younger women. He appeared laid back. However, it didn’t take a translator for us to understand who was really in charge – the Assistant Director, a very attractive woman in her 40s who was very much a “take charge” type of person.

The original orphanage, where Kim lived, was torn down a few years ago. Karen showed pictures of Kim’s nanny and was told she retired. However, one woman who remained from the old orphanage d came to see us. She took one look at Kim’s baby picture and remembered Kim and the nanny exactly.

Questioned about the rate of adoption, the director explained that fewer and fewer babies are abandoned because of the economic growth and changes in the attitude toward girls. Girls are now able to take care of themselves ecomiclally, thus able to take care of their parents in aging. Only three children were adopted for the first six months this year. There are an about 150 total children in the orphanage between the ages of a few weeks to 8 years old, .primarily with disabilities. He seem to feel that these children would not be adopted but kept in the system and would be provided schooling, etc. When asked, he said that it was common for adoptive families to return to the orphanage – 20 had made the trip to Bengbu this year alone.

Karen and Jim presented gifts of the UT t-shirts to the directors which they accepted with a smile. As for the jelly bellies, licorice and airplanes, they indicated that we should bring them to hand out to the children. Karen asked if we could bring our cameras and videos to take pictures. Amazingly they said yes. As we took pictures, we showed the children their images on the cameras. They swarmed around us, making peace signs with their fingers, pushing and shoving each other so they could have their pictures taken. Karen wants to email these back to the directors to show the children.

We were then escorted upstairs – first to the baby’s room. Unlike Ali’s orphanage, we were asked not to go into the baby’s room because of fear of infection. With a quick peek, these babies had diapers, but with brown plastic rubber pants over their diapers. The next room were older babies maybe 10 months or older. When I stuck my head in the room, one baby burst out tears and frantically crawling on the other side of the crib. She didn’t go far, because they were roped to the crib. All the babies were sharing cribs in this orphanage. When Jim and Karen got Kimmie, they were told Kimmie and Rae were crib mates. Now we have a visual of what that was like.

We then were taken to the toddler’s to 8 years of age – boys lined up sitting on potties. Some had obvious physical disabilities – some minor like birth marks or crossed eye, some more pronounced such as Down’s syndrome, missing eyes or cerebral palsy. All were so sweet and became very animated when they realized we had candy. Unfortunately, one of the girls received the jalapeño jelly belly and came up the nanny with open mouth, fanning her tongue. The older boys were intrigued as Jim put together and flew small airplanes. One had to question why these children would not be adoptable, but then again we weren’t privy to the full health record. One wanted to adopt each and every one. As we left and through kisses, they waived at us and blew us kisses back. Holding back tears was hard. I wonder when the last time these children were treated to candy. The only time they get to leave the orphanage is when there is a festival.

We returned to the meeting room where we were introduced to the Foreign Liaison Director. While the Assistant Director looked very bureaucratic, this official was more friendly with a huge smile. She indicated that she was most grateful and happy to see Kim so healthy and happy. Kim confirmed this by dancing for everyone – beautifully done too much applause.

The Assistant director presented Kimmie and Ali a necklace made by the children, signifying long, happy and healthy life. Then they brought us all bracelets made by the children, including our guide Snow.

We left the orphanage for lunch with the Assistant Director and staff. They hosted at a beautiful revolving restaurant overlooking Bengbu, at least 28 floors up. There was a rich variety of Chinese dishes including delicious dumplings, beef with peppers and fried as well as white rice. Regional beer was offered all around to include several toasts offered by the Ass’t Director. Good beer – the official one of the Olympics.

The conversation at lunch was discussing how Jim and Karen make Chinese culture a part of their family’s life. The theme of their interior design is Chinese, eat Chinese food regularly, keeping in contact with other families who have adopted Chinese girls as well as involvement in Families with Children from China (FCC), which celebrates Chinese culture and traditions.

Jim wanted to find an antique abacus, and had fun bargaining with a shop owner for two. He asked Snow to write abacus in Chinese and proceeded to look for antique shops. He didn’t have to look far. The owner took a look at the note, nodded yes, then began to move furniture around and get on his knees to look in a bottom cabinet. The bargaining began with much good natured banter to and fro. Jim insisted that if he met the owner’s price, he wouldn’t need the abacus because he wouldn’t have any money left to count! Chinese bargain very well so it was the beginning of a very lengthy process. Karen was equally adept when negotiating for several items of jewelry – very effective because the shop owner was becoming visibly exasperated. However, with both Jim and Karen, everyone shook hands at the end.

The shopping area is confined to several streets, one major boulevard which is completely canopied by trees on each side whose branches join hands in the center. The architecture of China appears to date to be either very historic or very contemporary – nearly science fiction. The street lights, for example, looked like inverted clusters of grapes. There are huge contemporary sculptures on the top of buildings and modern interpretive sculptures.

Snow chose the restaurant for our last dinner in Bengbu. We entered flanked by waitresses who stand to greet the diners. We were escorted to an upper private room. Karen ordered for us: chicken soup, rice, potatoes with peppers, bok choy, eggplant, edamane and more. She wisely passed on the menu choices of frog, snake, quail eggs or selecting a turtle from the tank much as we select lobster. The turtles must have known their fate because they weren’t in a good mood – fighting each other!

Conversation at dinner eventually moved to what the girls’ impressions were of the orphanages. The girls found the experience emotionally overwhelming. “Dark” was how Ali described it. But Kim insisted that she was happy they went. Both Ali and Kim enjoyed handing out the candy and Ali, assembling the planes. None of us will forget our time there. Either will we.